Tuesday 26 September 2017

An Open Letter To My Unborn Child

To my precious unborn child,

I sit here on the eve of the date you are due, my fourth child, contemplating the journey of motherhood. As a fourth time mother, I think I know what to expect but that does not diminish the feelings of extreme excitement, anticipation and joy that I feel with each pregnancy. You are so longed for, never forget that. From the moment I found out I was expecting you, my heart filled with love for you. You must have been smaller than a dot, yet you were already my baby, my child. I made a promise then to look after you and protect you always.

As the days went by I longed for the first scan when I would be able to see you for the first time. In a strange way it did not seem real until I saw you there on the screen and heard your heart beating. You see, apart from my growing bump, there was no other indication you were there. Unless I count the nausea I had felt, thank you for that!

I came home with a little picture of you. I stared and stared at it wondering if you were a boy or girl. Feeling thankful that you were healthy with a strong heartbeat. Your sister and brothers looked at the picture too, trying to work out which bits were which. Talking excitedly about your arrival. Little did they know, they would still have a long time to wait.

As the months went on I began to feel you kick. Tiny flutters at first which steadily grew stronger and more frequent week by week. I placed my hand on my bump and so did your father, eager to feel you move. Your siblings laughed with surprise and marvelled at the fact you were moving around inside me. 

They ask about you every day. They cannot wait to meet you. I am sure they will be good siblings to you, watching over you and caring for you. I know they long for the day you will be able to join in their fun and games. They do have some time to wait.

I wonder what you will be like. Will you be like your big sister? Confident and kind. Helpful yet stubborn. A perfectionist who is not happy until it is just right. A chatterbox who always has something to say. With her, there is never a dull moment. I am sure you will always be able to talk to her. She will always be your friend. 

Will you be like your oldest brother? Intelligent and content. Energetic and playful. He astounds me at his intricate creations, he has an engineering mind. His memory skills amaze me. He is thoughtful and caring and I know he will make an excellent big brother who will always watch over you.

Will you be like your third sibling, the one who is closest in age to you? Headstrong but affectionate. Curious about everything. Another chatterbox who loves to tell me about everything he sees and does. A real performer who loves to dance and sing. I am sure he will be your closest friend and ally. Will you be like him?

It is oh so close to the time that we will meet. I sometimes feel scared at the thought of giving birth to you. It will not be easy for me but I know you will be worth it. There is no doubt about that. 

Everything is ready. Your clothes are in the chest of drawers and your moses basket is made up with freshly laundered sheets and blankets. Your car seat is in the hallway and my hospital bags are packed. So now I just wait and I am sure you will keep me waiting just as your sister and brothers did. Until you are ready. Until we are both ready. 

So, I sit here on the eve of my due date waiting and wondering just what you will be like and the kind of person you will become.

Whoever you are, I will love you always.

Your Mum xxx

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